How Introverts Get Happy

Are introverts happy?

If you only google the word “introvert”, the question above might pop-up. I understand why an extrovert would be curious to find out what hides behind silence and a frowned look.

Yes, there’s happiness we don’t portray, just feel. Introverts don’t expose emotions as much as extroverts do. We are happy, even if we don’t look like it.

If an introvert googled that, again, I understand. Being an introvert comes with both advantages and disadvantages. It feels magical escaping in our own worlds, where we are in control and feel limitless. But when high sensitivity shows its ugly side, it’s easy to get influenced by the thought that there’s no way out.

And then you try to find out if it ever ends. If other people have been through it and found an exit door.

I don’t know about you, but I believe in happy endings. It hasn’t always been the case, but now I am able to see beyond darkness. Even if I can’t change my mood, I am absolutely convinced something good is coming, no matter how impossible that seems.

YES, introverts are happy, once we get comfortable with who we are.

How introverts get happy

I’m doing a series on Instagram called “#RooftopChats”. Every Friday, I post a question meant to bring us closer and make us stronger, by learning from each other. (Follow me HERE if you’d like to join next time).

This week’s question was “How do introverts get happy”? Some answers were:

I also gave my own answer:

 I think introverts get happy once we feel free to do whatever we want, no matter how strange it is to others. By spending time alone, focusing on hobbies or playing THAT secret playlist, we make the most of life.

I also believe that introverts feel happy when we make other people feel the same. Empaths by nature, we enjoy listening to others and offering one of the most precious gifts: our time.

What do you think? How do we get happy? 

Ways to make an introvert happy

Don’t try “to fix” us.

Introversion is not something that needs to be cured. There’s nothing wrong with our temperament. We’d highly appreciate some understanding.

Give us some freedom and space.

Our mind works differently. As an INFP, I’ve always preferred writing to speaking. When I talk, my ideas tend to be all over the place. But if I put them on paper, I am able to arrange them in a simpler way.

You can ask me the most basic question, and you’ll notice me stumbling over my words. That’s because we are used to be open to many perspectives, and it’s HARD giving a simple, linear answer.

Give us the time to think and please, allow us to disappear from time to time. We promise we are perfectly safe in silence and solitude. And yes, we will come back to you gladly after we recharge. interrupt us while we speak.

Try not to interrupt us as we speak.

We don’t speak a lot. But when we do, we would love to be listened just as actively and carefully as we do. Maybe this has nothing to do with happiness, but if you ask me, happiness is made of a million tiny things. Each of them is extremely important, and listening is one of them.

Don’t take refusal personally.

We might not want to answer the phone a certain time. We might not be ready to go out when you’d absolutely love.

If we decline your invitation, rest assured it’s not about you. It’s the event itself that doesn’t sound appealing. Introverts are very sensitive to external stimuli. What you find exciting (noisy environments or much interaction) for us might be overwhelming.

Check on us from time to time.

Does anyone need an unpaid therapist? Zero professional experience, tons of empathy, a few witty words from an old soul? Make yourself an introverted friend.

We are the ones who are comfortable with you in silence when words are unnecessary. We will not interrupt if you have a lot to say. We will listen to your problems and when you expect the least, we will mutter three words that will change your whole perspective.

Most of the time, we are there to listen. But when we are in trouble, we rarely share our feelings. It’s not that we don’t trust our closest friends, but we sometimes worry to become burdens, or that the chaos inside our minds is too abstract to explain. Best case scenario: we turn to art.

We get lost in order to find ourselves.

It may not be much for you, but we appreciate knowing someone thinks about us. Checking on your introverted friend from time to time might mean more than you think.

This is the beginning of loving who you are. Welcome home!