And all I loved, I loved alone. – Edgar Allan Poe
The quote above was one of the little things that made me choose Poe’s poetry as a subject of my master thesis. Apparently, he was an INFP as well and that encouraged me even more to adventure into his dark, intense, emotional world. *IntrovertOnAQuest*
This article won’t be about my paper, but about deep emotions. I used to have similar feelings to those in Poe’s quote. Struggling to fit in, saying “the normal” things, talking more, sharing trivial news – I did try them all.
But I was too inexperienced to understand why my voice would either tremble or be too loud, why it felt like an extra effort simply sharing thoughts, why not many felt as intensely as I did. Back then, the word “introvert” was not even part of my vocabulary. Just like mostly did, I labeled myself as shy, sad, misfit.
There was no place for deep talks. And no time for stargazing. There was no such thing as love, the way I perceived it. Silence equaled sadness and that left me so confused. Even daydreaming was considered strange. All I loved, I thought I loved alone.
It is said that the world is divided into almost equal numbers of introverts and extroverts. Is it really? It’s either introverts hide really well, or we should receive Oscars for the extroverts roles we play. For such a long time, I believed there was something wrong with me. Now I know it’s not only me. How many times have you felt misunderstood and therefore lonely?
Do Introverts Feel Lonely?🌠
A discussion I’ve recently had with a lovely person that I truly admire made me realize that the feeling of loneliness is SO common among introverts. Before I get into it, let’s make something clear: Solitude isn’t loneliness. Introverts NEED their alone time like they need air. Moments spent alone are magical and replenishing. Unless we exaggerate on the time we spend alone, we don’t feel lonely then. But this feeling arises when our perception of reality feels different from “the norm”. When we make the courage to express feelings that easily get misinterpreted. When we expose vulnerability and it’s thought as weakness. No, vulnerability isn’t weakness. If anything, it’s an act of courage.
What to do?
Not everyone will understand you. Try to make peace with that. It’s neither their fault, nor yours. But in life you will also find people who understand you, or some who don’t, but will support you no matter what. Stay close to those! Where to find them? Well, you can start here. Here’s a wonderful Facebook page: INFP the Dreamer. Everyone is welcome and the community there is strong and genuine. Of course I would be flattered if you decided to join my Facebook page too. I always make sure to post something deep, but with a positive twist. As an introvert, I think that’s what you need. Someone who understands darkness, but still chases light.
No matter how lonely you think you are in thought and feeling, trust me, there’s a whole community somewhere feeling exactly the same. (THANK YOU, INTERNET!) This has been proven to me several times. People related to my article about high sensitivity (say what?!) and some of my posts on Facebook are even shared by other introverts. So YOU are not alone either. Go find your tribe!
As an introvert, I personally don’t feel lonely anymore. There’s one thing I am sure of: And all I love, we love together.
Are you with me? ✨ Show me your support!